Tuesday, October 14, 2008

an open letter to the men of my world, past, present, and future

I am not a part of your future wife tryouts. I am not someone that needs to impress you. I am not someone who needs to prove that I am worthy of you. I am not someone to be toyed around with either. I am not here to ease your loneliness until your ex girlfriend decides to take you back. I am not here to cure your boredom. I am not here to boost your self-esteem and make you feel happy about your life again. Yes, I am good at all of those, because I have a lot to offer - emotionally, socially, and spiritually - but if that is all that you are looking for, then look elsewhere.

I am a woman. I am already impressive. I already have a lot to offer. I am already worthy. No, I'm not perfect, far from it, but I am a daughter of the king, a bride of Christ, and that makes me worthy.

Proverbs 18:22 says, "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD."

Don't waste your time deciding if I'm worthy of you, because I am.

These may seem like bold statements, and they are, but I write this mainly for self-healing. I've been hurt in relationships with men, and when I'm hurt, I feel like I'm not worthy. Rejection to me means that I'm not desirable, but I know this to be a lie, but sometimes it feels so true. Once a friend told me that I'm great at getting guys, to which I lamented, "I'm the girl that every guy wants, but no guy wants to keep!" This is a horrible self-view, the girl that attracts the guys, but then the guys soon grow bored with her and toss her away. This view does nothing to help me, it only sets me up to try harder to please the next guy that comes around, hoping that this time he'll decide to keep me. Instead, I need to live in the confidence that I am who I am in Christ, and to see myself as already worthy and free from trying to impress others.


The Pensive Poet said...

It's hard to imagine anyone growing bored with you, Kelly. You're so dynamic and fun and beautiful and free. We both know a loving, big-hearted, funny, poetic guy who has loved you. I don't think he'd ever find you boring. So clearly you are capable of attracting and keeping men of this caliber. But when you're really specific about what you want, sometimes it takes longer for it to come around.

Anton said...

Damn straight girl. Encourage men to be men.

crackers and cheese said...

Thanks Britt, you're a good friend :)

And thanks Anton, you're a brave man to comment on this post. I realized, every time I post something about men (or a particular man), you always have something encouraging or convicting to say, so I appreciate that. You are a good man/friend/brother. I do want men to be men, and I'm glad that you do too.

Cara said...

Yes. There is so much truth here. Keep telling yourself these things everyday because they are true, and you are worthy. I need to tell myself these things too.