I dislike the question, "What's new?" I prefer the more open-ended, "How are things?" or "What have you been up to?" Those questions anyone can answer, because there are always "things" going on in life and anybody is always up to something or another. But "What's new?" makes me feel some pressure to think, "What is new in my life? What is new to this person? Or what's new this week? Or what big, monumental, NEW thing has occurred in my life recently?" This past summer, I would answer that question eagerly, "Everything's new! My house, my roommates, my job, my practicum, my classes!" But a few months later, the newness of such things has worn off. Nothing right now feels as new as all those things did a few months ago. Completing a learning disability assessment, co-facilitating my fourth group of college students with depression, buying plane tickets to New Orleans, going to a Regina Spektor concert, none of those things seem as monumentally NEW as all the changes that have occurred for me in the past five months.
I also feel like the questioner is fishing for something, like they expect me to share something NEW that will satisfy their curiosity. It's almost as if they're thinking, "Something is new about her, but I can't quite put my finger on what it is . . . " I know it's just a socially acceptable question that us white americans have been conditioned to ask one another when we're curious about another person's life or feigning said curiosity, but I feel like it implies a need for the other person to have NEW, exciting, life-changing events and experiences. Maybe my life is average right now. Maybe the only thing that's new are the clothes I'm wearing. But is that good enough for you? Am I not fulfilling your expectations for my life to be continuously NEW and fascinating?
Even more irritating to me is when I've already been talking to a friend for 10, 15, 20, 30 minutes, sharing about different things in each other's lives, and then the friend asks, "So, what else is new with you?" I want to respond, "I've spent the past 20 minutes telling you about NEW things in my life!" Do they think I'm hiding something from them? That I'm beating around the bush? Or was what I just shared not interesting enough for them? Are they waiting for me to reveal some big NEW event, that all the other things I shared were just leading up to?
I'll have to be honest, as an unmarried person, I sometimes feel like when people ask, "What's new?" that they want to hear about some new relationship development. A new crush, a new boyfriend, a new serious development with current boyfriend etc. Maybe they don't. I don't beat around the bush with those kinds of questions, I straight up ask, "Are you seeing anyone?" "How are you and so-and-so doing?" "Do you see a future with him?" But I feel like many people don't have the guts to ask such straightforward questions about what could be a sensitive topic to someone other than the closest of friends.
Maybe people are just curious about each other, and ask questions that sound ok to ask. Maybe I'm just projecting my own insecurities about the newness of my life onto others. Maybe no one else but me cares how new or old the things in my life are.
Whatever it is, the question still annoys me. Just ask me how I am, pretend to be interested in what I share, and trust that I will share what seems important for you to know.
At least it's a relatively open-ended question, even if the questioner is leading towards something. Last night, my friend told me how her friend kept asking her, "Aren't you sooooo good?" How does one respond to that? "Yes, in fact, I am soooooo good," or, "Actually, no, I'm not soooooo good," or, "Wow, you're right, my life is good, thanks for convincing me of that!"
Showing posts with label curiousity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label curiousity. Show all posts
Friday, October 30, 2009
Monday, June 30, 2008
The Great Western American Roadtrip
Often, I find myself at work on a slow day, sitting in my windowless office, it's been three hours, and not a soul has come by to break the monotony . . . and I begin to dream of getting the heck outta here! During such days, I'll just start looking up plane tickets, making routes with google maps, looking up hostels, couchsurfing, etc, to plan some dream trip. This was how my proposed excursion to Denver and Boulder started. I stumbled upon some cheaper-than I realized plane tickets, and started dreaming and scheming. Sadly, the Fourth of July weekend excursion to Denver never materialized, mainly because I couldn't find anyone to join me. But no matter. I am going to Boston in August, and I've had to pay a couple of deposits on a new house that I'm moving into, so it's probably best that I saved my money for another time.
Today, my latest travel scheme I've cooked up is probably my most ambitious to date. For the past couple of years, I've wanted to travel alone Highway 1 along the west coast, and my cousins and another friend took separate trips from California back to Texas, stopping at Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon along the way. Then Anton is about to go to Glacier National Park in Montana. I don't know if you're realized, but add those three routes together, and you have . . .
The Great Western American Roadtrip!!!
With the help of google maps, I've made an itinerary:
With the exception of Santa Fe, San Francisco, and Colorado, I haven't been to most of these places, and all of them are places that I'd looooove to see.
What's to consider?
Time. I could embark on this adventure as early as July 2009, or I might have to wait until the summer of 2011 or 2012, either right before or right after going on internship. Taking a month off isn't an easy task, but as long as I pick a transitional time, I could manage it.
Money. Gas will be a big cost. Estimating 30 miles per gallon on the highway in my new Camry at $4 a gallon, that comes out to a little over $700. It will probably be more with excursions around the areas we're going, and gas prices will probably continue to rise. But split at least two ways, that comes out to $350-500 per person. Lodging will be the next biggest cost. 25 nights aint cheap, but we'd do it as cheap as possible - couchsurfing, hostels, camping, and cheap, nasty motels. Depending on our options, my estimate is about $500-$1000 per person. Food can be done cheaply, buying groceries most of the time, and occasionally eating out good meals, so for that I estimate up to $300. Then there are entrance fees to parks and museums, laundry money, toll roads, parking costs, gambling in Vegas, who knows. I'd have to do some research to figure out those costs. But on the high end, I'm looking at about $2000 per person, but potentially less. For a trip this ambitious, that sounds pretty reasonable.
Driving. Can be exhausting. 7 days of heavy driving (8+ hours) and 5 days of light driving (<6 hours)
Who? Would be up for taking this trip with me and able to take the time to do it? Time will be the biggest issue. A fellow student, or someone just finishing school, or someone transitioning jobs, or someone who works for a school district. Finding someone to go with will determine when and if I take this trip. Besides the obvious perks of having someone to travel with, I really do need someone share the driving, and to make this safe.
So, it'd be awesome if this could happen. But really, who knows? If I see all of these places eventually in my lifetime (or before 2030 in the case of Glacier National Park in Montana), I'll be happy. If I could go to all of these places in one amazing month, I'll be ecstatic!
Today, my latest travel scheme I've cooked up is probably my most ambitious to date. For the past couple of years, I've wanted to travel alone Highway 1 along the west coast, and my cousins and another friend took separate trips from California back to Texas, stopping at Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon along the way. Then Anton is about to go to Glacier National Park in Montana. I don't know if you're realized, but add those three routes together, and you have . . .
The Great Western American Roadtrip!!!
With the help of google maps, I've made an itinerary:
5318 Miles – 3 days, 12 hours of driving
Day 1: Keller to
Day 2:
Day 3:
Day 4:
Day 5:
Day 6-8:
Day 9:
Day 10-12:
Day 13:
Day 14:
Day 15:
Day 16:
Day 17-18:
Day 19: San Fran to
Day 20:
Day 21:
Day 22:
Day 23:
Day 24:
Day 25: Home to Keller, 7 hrs, 43 mins
11 States. 9 Cities. 3 State Parks. Are your bags packed yet?With the exception of Santa Fe, San Francisco, and Colorado, I haven't been to most of these places, and all of them are places that I'd looooove to see.
What's to consider?
Time. I could embark on this adventure as early as July 2009, or I might have to wait until the summer of 2011 or 2012, either right before or right after going on internship. Taking a month off isn't an easy task, but as long as I pick a transitional time, I could manage it.
Money. Gas will be a big cost. Estimating 30 miles per gallon on the highway in my new Camry at $4 a gallon, that comes out to a little over $700. It will probably be more with excursions around the areas we're going, and gas prices will probably continue to rise. But split at least two ways, that comes out to $350-500 per person. Lodging will be the next biggest cost. 25 nights aint cheap, but we'd do it as cheap as possible - couchsurfing, hostels, camping, and cheap, nasty motels. Depending on our options, my estimate is about $500-$1000 per person. Food can be done cheaply, buying groceries most of the time, and occasionally eating out good meals, so for that I estimate up to $300. Then there are entrance fees to parks and museums, laundry money, toll roads, parking costs, gambling in Vegas, who knows. I'd have to do some research to figure out those costs. But on the high end, I'm looking at about $2000 per person, but potentially less. For a trip this ambitious, that sounds pretty reasonable.
Driving. Can be exhausting. 7 days of heavy driving (8+ hours) and 5 days of light driving (<6 hours)
Who? Would be up for taking this trip with me and able to take the time to do it? Time will be the biggest issue. A fellow student, or someone just finishing school, or someone transitioning jobs, or someone who works for a school district. Finding someone to go with will determine when and if I take this trip. Besides the obvious perks of having someone to travel with, I really do need someone share the driving, and to make this safe.
So, it'd be awesome if this could happen. But really, who knows? If I see all of these places eventually in my lifetime (or before 2030 in the case of Glacier National Park in Montana), I'll be happy. If I could go to all of these places in one amazing month, I'll be ecstatic!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
I apologize to my readers with the Y chromosome for the content of this post
A couple of days ago, I bought some stamps and stuck them in my purse. Today, I discovered that one of my stamps had stuck to a tampon. At first, this was just a funny sight, but it got my thinking. If I wrote an address of it, could I mail it? This experiment just might be worth 42 cents.
Any volunteer receivers?
Any volunteer receivers?
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