Wednesday, May 21, 2008

my first experience with age regression

I had a conversation with my eight year old self yesterday. She (I?) spoke to me from where she was sitting by the bushes in the backyard and told me I was beautiful, which surprised me and made me blush. Then she (I?) told me, "You're not a kid like me. You can do more than I can do. You can do a lot." There was a tone of admiration and wonder in her (my) voice, mixed with a little bit of impatience. She didn't ask me for anything, but I gave her a hug, because we both could use a little love.

Neither of us said another word, until I walked toward the gate, and before it closed behind me, turned around to say, "Thank you."

What did I learn from this experience? That I'm still afraid of being inadequate, but I'm not a child. I can do more than I once could, more than I realize.

1 comment:

if walled in climb up said...

This is such a tender post. : )

I agree, feelings of inadequacy are terrifying. I wonder what we fear more: being inadequate to others or to ourselves? How is adequacy even measured?

Actually I went vegetarian about 3-4 months ago (I think?). I still eat fish, because I wasn't getting enough of the right stuff when I wasn't. (Vitamin-deficiency-induced fatigue is no fun.) I'm not sure if I'll stick with it forever, but it feels right these days. It definitely helps to have a fabulous cook of a vegetarian boyfriend, too. ; )

I can't wait to see you ToMoRrOw!!