24 hours: the aftermath

• Screamed, cussed, threw pillows, and slammed doors. Check.
• Called a church friend who saved me from destoying my house by letting me come over to cry on her shoulder and not be alone. Check.
• Called my best friend. Check.
• Texted my best friend because she never checks her messages, and she actually called me back. Check.
• Went to church, cried while singing "I need you Jesus, come to my rescue . . . this world has nothing for me." Check.
• Ran past one of his roommates while going to the bathroom to get tissues. Check.
• Skipped out on my pastor's dating sermon to help same church friend with the kids in the back. Check.
• Went to a departmental meeting, faked being fine, and left as soon as I could. Check.
• Called my mom. Check.
• Drove to another church family's house, and talked with them. Check.
• Drove back to first church family's house to borrow a Francine Rivers book. Check.
• Came home, realized my keys were missing, called every place I'd been that day. Check.
• Went back to church family's house because our pastor was over. Pastor, husband of friend, and I drove to the church where we didn't find my keys. Pastor asked how I was doing and I asked him to pray for me. Check.
• Came home and successfully avoided my roommates. Check.
• Stuffed cards and pictures of him in a drawer. Check.
• Changed my background picture from a picture of us in a field of bluebonnets to an empty field of dandelions. Check.
• Texted best friend and asked her to pray for a good night's sleep for me and for me to feel better in the morning. Check.
• Read scripture from our women's retreat and prayed that I'd believe it. Check.
• Went to sleep fairly easily, but woke up at 3:30 and repeatedly woke up tossing and turning for the rest of the night. Check.
• Woke up feeling numb and started going through the motions of getting ready. Check.
• Coughed up green mucuous in the sink. Check.
• Cried and prayed in the shower. Check.
• Felt nauseous, but made myself breakfast anyway. Check.
• Explained to my roommate that the dog hadn't gotten lose, but I was the reason for the mess in the bathroom yesterday. Check.
• Called my boss to tell him my keys were missing and told him I was having a terrible day. Check.
• Called best friend again crying on the way to work. Check.
• Arrived at work, found substitute key. Check.
• Wrote him an email, asking him a question that maybe will give me more closure. Check.
• Emailed other close girlfriends, explaining situation, and asking for prayers. Check.
• Emailed friends about going to Feist concert next Tuesday in Austin with me since I was going to go with him and his roommate and he kindly still offered to pay for their tickets. Check.
• Wrote a silly but extremely honest blog post about what I've done the past 22 hours. Check.

What can I say? Love's a bitch that needs to be slapped around, though it feels like I'm love's bitch and she's the one giving me a beating. I'm sure these next 24 hours will be better, but please say a prayer for me.