Monday, April 07, 2008

24 hours: the aftermath

  • Screamed, cussed, threw pillows, and slammed doors. Check.
  • Called a church friend who saved me from destoying my house by letting me come over to cry on her shoulder and not be alone. Check.
  • Called my best friend. Check.
  • Texted my best friend because she never checks her messages, and she actually called me back. Check.
  • Went to church, cried while singing "I need you Jesus, come to my rescue . . . this world has nothing for me." Check.
  • Ran past one of his roommates while going to the bathroom to get tissues. Check.
  • Skipped out on my pastor's dating sermon to help same church friend with the kids in the back. Check.
  • Went to a departmental meeting, faked being fine, and left as soon as I could. Check.
  • Called my mom. Check.
  • Drove to another church family's house, and talked with them. Check.
  • Drove back to first church family's house to borrow a Francine Rivers book. Check.
  • Came home, realized my keys were missing, called every place I'd been that day. Check.
  • Went back to church family's house because our pastor was over. Pastor, husband of friend, and I drove to the church where we didn't find my keys. Pastor asked how I was doing and I asked him to pray for me. Check.
  • Came home and successfully avoided my roommates. Check.
  • Stuffed cards and pictures of him in a drawer. Check.
  • Changed my background picture from a picture of us in a field of bluebonnets to an empty field of dandelions. Check.
  • Texted best friend and asked her to pray for a good night's sleep for me and for me to feel better in the morning. Check.
  • Read scripture from our women's retreat and prayed that I'd believe it. Check.
  • Went to sleep fairly easily, but woke up at 3:30 and repeatedly woke up tossing and turning for the rest of the night. Check.
  • Woke up feeling numb and started going through the motions of getting ready. Check.
  • Coughed up green mucuous in the sink. Check.
  • Cried and prayed in the shower. Check.
  • Felt nauseous, but made myself breakfast anyway. Check.
  • Explained to my roommate that the dog hadn't gotten lose, but I was the reason for the mess in the bathroom yesterday. Check.
  • Called my boss to tell him my keys were missing and told him I was having a terrible day. Check.
  • Called best friend again crying on the way to work. Check.
  • Arrived at work, found substitute key. Check.
  • Wrote him an email, asking him a question that maybe will give me more closure. Check.
  • Emailed other close girlfriends, explaining situation, and asking for prayers. Check.
  • Emailed friends about going to Feist concert next Tuesday in Austin with me since I was going to go with him and his roommate and he kindly still offered to pay for their tickets. Check.
  • Wrote a silly but extremely honest blog post about what I've done the past 22 hours. Check.

What can I say? Love's a bitch that needs to be slapped around, though it feels like I'm love's bitch and she's the one giving me a beating. I'm sure these next 24 hours will be better, but please say a prayer for me.


Ben said...

Oh, Kelly...

Prayed for you. Check.

christina said...

it's never easy, but you know it does get easierrrrr....will be praying for you.

Anton said...

Me too. You'll feel better soon.

Martha Elaine Belden said...

dang... ben totally stole my comment!

but yes. praying for you, friend. :)

if walled in climb up said...

Can I reiterate how sick I feel about this? *lower lip protrudes*

Hope you're having a better day today. I love you and wish I could be there.

crackers and cheese said...

Thanks friends, you guys are amazing. The prayers and kind words really mean a lot. I read these comments, and I feel loved and accepted, and that's what I need right now. We all need a little love. Or a lot.