So, an update on this whole graduate school process . . . I've finished all four of my interviews (Kansas City was the last). People have said, "Wow, aren't you relieved? Now you're in the easy part." Um, sorta. Though my interview story might have sounded awkward and negative, overall, I've had a really good experience with each of them. None of them were as nerve-racking as I expected and for the most part were pretty fun. I learned a lot and met many interesting people - sadly, most of whom I'll never see again, but who knows? I've heard back from all the schools - I've been accepted into two of them, one of which has offered me a pretty awesome fellowship, and I'm on the alternate list for the other two. But now, I feel more turmoil than I did during the interviews. First off, I hate making big life decisions. When I was a senior in high school, I waited until just a couple of days before the deadline to choose which college I would attend. I said that I wasn't going to, but it looks like I might do that this time too.
There's been so much on my mind lately, I don't even know where to begin. Why do I think of the worst case scenarios when I think about those two schools? I start with one question, "What about this aspect? Do I like that?" and then my mind has begun a downward spiral and suddenly I'm stuck in a graduate program that makes me miserable. Is that really the case? I should be much more excited! I have been excited, during the interviews and applications, and I will be excited again, when I finally make my decision. I felt this same way when I was trying to decide when to graduate. I vacillated and labored over that decision, but as soon as I turned in my intent to graduate - there was no looking back! I was filled with excitement and did everything I could to achieve that goal. I hope that will be the case this time.
Something I am very excited about is mine and Britt's trip to Europe this summer. I bought our Eurail passes today! It's actually happening and it's becoming more and more real to me. It started off as something we began talking about last summer, and now we're actually doing it! Over three weeks in Spain, Italy, Switzerland, and the Netherlands.
Among the turmoil and excitement, I've still managed to enjoy many simplicities. Some things that have made me happy this past week include - red wine and pizza in the botanic gardens, riding my bike, seeing the streets and grass glisten as the sun shines on them after the rain, couples older than my parents holding hands, blue eyes on men, iced coffee, and friends who are honest to share - when it hurts me, and when they share their love.