Sunday, November 19, 2006

Why the heck not?

Thank you friends, for your suggestions on which poems to submit to the literary journal! I pretty much submitted all your suggestions, 6 poems in all. I was only intending to submit 2 or 3, but at the last minute I decided, “Why not?” I submitted Karma and Not in the Stars because they are two of my favorites, and Dead to the World because it’s so emotional and raw, and The Worst Mistake He Ever Made and 1 am because you guys like them, and Frontier Unknown because it was what started this all and it’s a dedication to a dear friend of mine. It’s been a couple of weeks, but I haven’t anything from them, so I don’t even know if they were received. I’m not too concerned, I’m just happy that I’ve tried because a couple of years ago I never would have done something like this.

Lately, I’ve been living by that “why not?” sort of attitude. You know that cliché, “If you don’t ask, the answer is automatically ‘No.’”? Well, I’ve always had a tendency to make up people’s mind for them. “No, that professor wouldn’t want to do this for me – I’d be bothering him/her.” “No, that friend wouldn’t want to come to church with my tomorrow, I’m sure he/she has better things to do.” I’m now trying to reverse that habit. I’ve started inviting friends to more things, whether or not I think they’d want to come. In the midst of graduate school applications and my honors project, I’ve started asking more professors for help. I suppose this is helping me put aside some fear of rejection and pride that I hold onto. And you know what? That friend did come to church with me. Those other friends did come hang out at the farm with me. And all those professors? Every single one of them offered to help me! I wound up having to tell them no! This is so encouraging, and I feel like God is just exceeding my expectations. I’ve spent a lot of this semester stressed and discouraged, but now I’m beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel 

No new poetry, sadly. I don’t know when inspiration will strike me again, so I’ve decided to keep this blog alive by broadening its purpose and writing other things on here – even if it’s just an update about my life. Xanga is dying, but I refuse to give up on it just yet, so I’ll probably start double-posting.

If you don’t already know, I’ll be graduating this December and have the semester off and just work full-time until I begin graduate studies in the fall. I’ve kept saying that I want to travel during this 8 month hiatus from school. Well, my traveling adventures for next spring and summer have officially begun – I booked a flight to New Orleans! My friend from there invited myself and another friend to join him for Jazzfest in April. I’m excited; I’ve never been to this city, and we’ll have a fantastic tour guide and be able to stay with his family – who will even take us out for nice dinners! This is the way to travel  Then, this afternoon I spent a little bit of time with my dad and mentioned how I wanted to go to Europe this summer, and he was very supportive. He said he would help me out financially (let’s just hope he doesn’t let me down) and agreed that I should take advantage of this time off, since in graduate school I won’t have anymore summer breaks. My plans are becoming reality!

3 comments:

Martha Elaine Belden said...

yay! congratulations on leaping into things! i've found people are usually more than willing to lend a hand... come along... join the party...

if only you ask eagerly :)

and i hope you win lots of (money? acclaim? not sure what the prize is) for your incredible poetry

keep us updated!

Anonymous said...

yeah, that's great to hear about travel plans in the works. i've always (and by always i mean for about 20 months) have wanted to visit new orleans. you're great, miss a. dancing. keep up all your good work.

p.s. by 2-5 friends i meant that a few of them are usually traveling on the weekends, and i like some of them more than others. i dunno..

if walled in climb up said...

"If you don't ask, then the answer's always no." I really like that philosophy. It's similar to Henry Ford's words, "Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're right." It seems like we so often underestimate ourselves and what we're capable of. That's something rock climbing has taught me--I can usually do a route much better if I give myself permission to instead of passing it off as that I probably can't do it. So I think that this attitude that you are embracing will take you far in life.

That's so cool you're making travel plans! New Orleans sounds like so much fun! And it'll be even more fun since you can stay with friends. Please keep me updated on your Europe plans--just the other day my dad was talking about starting to make plans for this summer. I'm pretty sure I'll be going to Spain, maybe Sevilla, maybe Barcelona, maybe who knows? But I would absolutely love for you to be a part of it if you can. :o) Where were you thinking of going in Europe?

Miss you tons, K! Love you.