Tonight, I reflected back on this past year, thinking about what I am thankful for. Looking back a year ago, I feel like I am in such a different place. Compared to a year ago, I feel healthy, whole, and free. Those seem like such vague words but they feel so true. I doubt that this post can capture much of what I reflected back on this evening, but perhaps in the near future I will find better ways to express these things.
Looking back on this past year, I have no regrets. My eyes filled with tears as I spoke those words to my church small group, my family, tonight. I don't know when in my life I could ever say that. This past year, I've experienced pain. I've been hurt deeply by people I care about. I've been taken advantage of. I have sinned in big ways. Repeatedly.
And yet, each time God has healed me. He has opened my eyes to who He is and who I am am. To teach me about myself. To sharpen me. To free me. Repentance. Submission. Freedom. Every pain, every sin, he has used for His good and for my good. And I'm thankful for every bit of it.
He is so gracious to me. The tears flowed as I choked out those words. I don't usually get emotional when I talk about spiritual things. But tonight I did, and it's yet another thing that I'm grateful for.