Wednesday, February 11, 2009

constant

A dream I had several nights ago posed an intriguing question. In this dream, I was sitting at a big table of a Tex-Mex restaurant, filled with various friends and people I knew. Sitting across from me was an old high school friend, not one whom I'm particularly close to know, but he asked me this question:

"Imagine that many years later in your life, you appear before God to ask him for something that you've longed for but never yet received. What will you already have?"

This question immediately struck me with the uncertainty of nearly everything in my life. What will I have many years from now? My first thought was friends and family, but I cannot say for certainly which friends will still be in my life and which of my family members will still be living many years from now, and I can't say for certain that I will be married or have children. Then I thought of having my doctorate and my license to work as a psychologist, but even this is shaky. I'm still a few years away from having my doctorate, and there's still a possibility that my course could change. And if I do earn licensure a few years from now, this could also change as my licensure could expire or be revoked or I could change careers entirely. Next, I thought of my personality traits, inner things that I hold that are not likely to change, things like my optimism and my worries. I can say for certain that I will still have some degree of optimism and some number of worries, and will probably still have my friendly, extroverted personality, though I'm likely to grow and change and won't exactly be the same person that I am today, but I'm fairly certain that some core aspects of my personality will never change. I can say for certain that I will still have God himself in my life, even if my thoughts and ideas of him change drastically in the years to come.

3 comments:

Laura said...

wow. that's an amazing question. Go you for dreaming so insightfully :)

I'm going to have to think on that one.

The Pensive Poet said...

That is an interesting question. Are you thinking about changing careers?

crackers and cheese said...

Britt, no, I'm not considering changing careers at this point, but given the nature of life and change, I can't say with 100% absolute certainty that I will still be a psychologist in 10 or 20 years. Does that make sense?